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"What were you doing at the zoo, Tom Swift?" -- "Oh, just poking around the bars of the lion cage," said Tom offhandedly.

--Laughing Cherub

"Buddha isn't married, because if he were, his wife would've said, 'What--you're going to sit around like that all day!?'"

--Gary Shandling

"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon."

Our Good Friend, Anonymous!


"Hey, my body is in perfect shape.......(um, round is a shape, isn't it?)"

--Laughing Cherub's older sister


"Boy, I feel safer now that Martha Stewart's behind bars. O.J. & Kobe are walking around; Osama Bin Laden too. But they take the one woman in America willing to cook and clean and work in the yard and haul her ass to jail."

--Tim Allen

"The trouble with Italian food is three days later, you're hungry again."


"Sex is one of the three best things we have. I don't know what the other two are..."

--Helen Gurley Brown

"God is watching the comedy channel...and WE'RE what's on."

--Swami Beyondananda

"Unless you're the lead dog on the sled team, the view is all pretty much the same."

--Rev. David Leach

"Remember,STRESSED is DESSERTS spelled backwards!"

--Laughing Cherub

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